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RIP Jake
August 1993 - November 2009

Lisle's Cat Cricket

Our Cat Chelsea

Lisle's Josie

Josie, Cookie and Shiloh

My Shiloh
Christmas 2008

Josie and Chelsea

Cat Commandments

1 Thou shall not jump onto the keyboard when thy human is on the modem.

2 Thou shall not pull the phone cord out of the back of the modem.

3 Thou shall not unroll all of the toilet paper off the roll.

4 Thou shall not sit in front of the television or monitor as thou are transparent.

5 Thou shall not projectile vomit from the top of the refrigerator.

6 Thou shall not walk in on a dinner party and commence licking thy butt.

7 Thou shall not lie down with thy butt in thy human's face.

8 Thou shall not leap from great heights onto thy human's genital region.

9 Fast as thou are, thou cannot run through closed doors.

10 Thou shall not reset thy human's alarm clock by walking on it.

11 Thou shall not climb on the garbage can with the hinged lid, as thee will fall in and trap thyself.

12 Thou shall not jump onto the toilet seat just as thy human is sitting down.

13 Thou shall not jump onto thy sleeping human's bladder at 4a.m.

14 Thou shall realize that the house is not a prison from which to escape at any opportunity.

15 Thou shall not trip thy humans even if they are walking too slow.

16 Thou shall not push open the bathroom door when there are guests in thy house.

17 Thou shall remember that thou are a carnivore and that houseplants are not meat.

18 Thou shall show remorse when being scolded.

Instructions on giving your cat a pill

1. Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.

3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.

4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of 10.

5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.

6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, holding front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold cat's head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.

7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.

8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with its head just visible from below spouse's armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force cat's mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.

9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink glass of water to take taste away. Apply band-aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

10. Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.

11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put door back on hinges. Appy cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Throw T-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

12. Ring fire brigade to retrieve cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.

13. Tie cat's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table. Find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed. Force cat's mouth open with small spanner. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Hold head vertically and pour 1/2 pint of water down throat to wash pill down.

14. Get spouse to drive you to emergency room; sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Stop by furniture shop on way home to order new table.

15. Arrange for vet to make a housecall.

These are pictures of two squirrels that my neighbor brought me that had fallen out of a tree that was being cut down when they were only two weeks old. The mother will abandon them if the nest is distroyed so I knew the only option was to try to save them. The local pet store said to feed them 1/2 parts whole milk and 1/2 parts kitten formula. I tried to get them to suck a tiny baby bottle but with no luck I went to using an eye dropper. This was a fun but tiring time for me to have to nurse them through the nights every three to four hours. I don't regret saving their lives but I am also glad it is over. Towards the end they showed signs of getting wild. Wild animals of this kind do not make good pets. They are free and happy living in a tree in the back yard of my friends house. She lives near to me on a large wooded lot and they are protected from my cats, LOL.

Squirrels at 3 weeks old

Squirrels at 6 weeks

The male squirrel Peanut at 11 weeks

Don't forget to sign!!